By Makalia Bobb
As women, we all have certain things we look out for in men that either make or breaks our interest in them. Some of them are financial; others appearance focused. But what about external factors that tend to predict their behavior towards you? In this post, we’ll be exploring the effect that mother-son relationships, family units, and social hierarchy can have on the chances of you picking a high-quality man
1. The Mother-Son Relationship Dynamic
For decades, it’s been a rule of thumb that the way a man treats his mother is the way he will treat you.
Men that are used to love and affection from their mothers, tend to return a similar love to their significant other. Whereas, men who have an emotionally distant relationship with their mother, often find it much harder to display affection towards their partner.
So, naturally, you would think that if he treats his mother terribly, he will show that behavior towards you as well. And if he treats his mother like a queen, then you would also get the royal treatment, right?
Unfortunately, relationships are never black and white. While that may be the case for some, it doesn’t always work out that way. What many fail to realise is that parental relationships are different from romantic ones.
Yes, he may love his mom greatly, but since you are not the one that nurtured him, he might believe he doesn’t owe you the same level of respect. He may place his mother on a pedestal but there’s no guarantee that you will ever be placed alongside her or above her, even when married.
2. The Family Unit
A tip that’s rising in popularity is to look at his family structure, more importantly, whether he has older sisters. The sister being older is key because:
- There’s a far greater chance that he looks to her as a role model.
- Witnessing their role model’s heartache probably makes them less likely to intentionally inflict the same pain on you.
- They’re more exposed to stereotypical ‘girly’ activities such as dress-up, shopping, rom-com movies, etc.
- They’re more than likely used to seeing women not ‘done up’ 24/7 and are understanding towards menstruation and feminine products. So, there’s not much that phases them.
In a 2009 study conducted by Hiroko Okudaira, they found that college-aged men with older sisters were less likely to take part in competitive challenges compared to men without older sisters.
This could mean they’re less likely to compete with or be threatened by, well-accomplished women- which is very common nowadays, with many women obtaining multiple degrees and accolades.
3. How He Views Social Hierarchy
The way a man treats the average person can be considered the clearest indicator of the outcome of your relationship.
If you are someone who values respect and kindness above all else, pay attention to how a man interacts with a waiter compared to how he interacts with his boss.
If you can tell he treats people vastly different based on their standing in society- Run!
Anyone who treats a waiter abhorrently but sucks up to their bosses will never be decent enough.
Do not try to overlook his disrespectful behaviour by dissociating yourself from it with reasonings like: “Oh, but he never treats me that way. He’s always a gentleman to me! ”. Men like that often associate social status with worth.
Therefore, when he eventually believes he has a higher status than you, he will start to view you as worthless also.
These three factors mentioned may be things you are already aware of and actively look out for in a partner. Many of the points that were discussed are patterns that have been observed by relationship specialists for decades. However, it’s incredibly crucial to note that not all relationships and experiences are the same.
Good Luck!